friday
went to watch 'i not stupid 2' the 2nd time with mummy 'cos bro got free tickets... still feel veri touched after watchin the 2nd time..by the way,anybody wan watch final destination3...??heard it was a good show yeah...after the show,mummy say she was lazy to cook so we had our dinner at west mall....

saturday
accompany joyce to 'guo mei mei' autograph session... actually the autograph session not considered alot of people compared to other singers...her fans more on children than adults...feel kinda bored during the autograph session...after the session,we went food court and jiejin and i had korean food for our dinner..the food not bad...hmm,lixin,mayb next time we can try some budget korean restuarant...lixin,duno whether u get to my blog on time ma...joyce finish her last paper on tues,so u guys wan go ktv at evening time ma...??if not the voucher wasted liao...

sunday
dragged myself to his wedding dinner... lied to mum that i not feelin well but she insisted i go with her... *faint*
saw the beautiful bride and the handsome bridegroom and i just feel awkard la...sat with a few of my good frens,and i was smiling and laughing all night..
am i really happy on this occassion..?? i doubt so...
my frens see through it and they suggested we went ktv after the dinner and i simply agreed it...
wanted to drink till drunk last night but my frens forbid mi to touch liqour 'cos they i'm sensitive to it...

我想要學會自我催眠 痛覺會少一些
潛意識作祟 想著想到失眠
我躺在沒有你的房間 寂寞更加明顯
我漸漸的自我催眠 卻回不到從前

我想要學會自我催眠 聰明再多一些
潛意識作祟 想著想到失眠
我走在沒有你的世界 卻走不到永遠
我漸漸的自我催眠 慢慢閉上雙眼

*smile*
dont worry, i'll be fine... i really will be fine....
i promise i'll let go and i'll do it without regret...
its not meant for me,i wont stubbornly hold onto it....
*smile*

11:55 AM

Beacuse of you - Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI
find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can�t possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you

10:55 AM

saw the ad on tv,there's a tour exhibition at suntec city convention hall this weekend..i think if some of u wan go graduation tour,should go take a look,alot of packages for free and easy de,and i think packages will cost abit cheaper ba...

arghh...
wasnt really in good mood cause of my dying com...wanted to reformat my com,but bought the wrong cd-rom.. needed microsoft windows XP professional version 2002,service pack 2 and above,but in the end,i bought window XP home SP2 intergrated and that uncle dont allow me to change.. haix.. mayb i just fork out some money to reformat my com or anybody want to reformat my com FOC...

not in the good mood to blog...
everything is in the mess...
everybody will just reprimand me for being stupid and foolish...
computer is dying soon,bank account is drying due to some problems,family dont understand me,nobody understand me,and worst,'a good friend' that i know last time from my mum's religious's prayer hall is getting married...

we are just not fated to be together...
i'm defeated... i lost the battle....
i duno how to fight when my opponent is so strong..
she's a beautiful,intelligent,kind by nature lady,someone which every guy will want to pampered and protect her from harm....
and me,i'm just nothing compared to her... i just feel inferior...
i'm just a ugly,wildful ignorant brat that everybody detest...
my life is in the mess...
i'm feeling terrible inside out...
i'm tired... my heart is feeling tired....
i thought my heart wont bleed anymore... i thought my heart wont cry anymore....

i'm losing my appetite soon.... had one meal per day and i feel full... should i feel happy or sad for losing appetite...??
should i feel happy for him for having such a good wife...??

[I dropped a tear into the sea,the day you find it,is the day i stopped missing you..]

forever gone,my love....
stop worring about me,i'm fine...

8:58 PM

ytd
j-gang finally gathered together... Claire MIA for such a long time and ytd she finally turned up for the gathering for Dawn's 1st month celebration....and finally j-gangs can the chance to take pics together...
was kinda fun during the dinner and laughter was heard...i tink everybody will rmb the needle and 'balloon' thingy ah...hahaha...the dinner ended at about 10+ and some headed to clubbing and the rest to see jes's bike... kinda cool bike but jes doesnt look like a biker...
after that went joan's house for a short chat,was watching the korean show (My Lovely SamSoon)from scv,was a funny show... cause of the need for the show,the female actoress put on about 8kg of weight and she's veri 'cho lor'(rough) in the show...

after the show,we headed back home.... reached home at about 1,headed for a short shower,den went online send lixin n jiejin some new songs....was chattin wif a couple of frens online till about 3am and feel like resting after that...in the end,i couldnt sleep again,was staring at the ceiling till 6 or 7 when i see the 1st morning light...was forcing myself to sleep,in the end,i've got nightmare...

why should u care if you dont really mean what you say...??
everything is going too fast...i couldnt follow the pace that you have given...
so,please just leave me alone...

7:30 PM

guess i'm not doing good as well...

think i'm suffering from insomnia lately... couldnt get to sleep thought i'm pretty tired at night...flipping on the bed throughout the whole night...keep having nightmares as well...my headache come back to haunt me again,couldnt really concentrate during the day,have been thinking alot of things in my mind...
have been hearing strange voices before sleeping,that makes me more difficult to sleep...
anybody have any cure for my illness...??
although haven thinking alot,but duno why most of time,my mind is empty,blank as a white paper...am i suffering from any illness or diseases???

my emotions have been veri down...i couldnt find back the old me,the one that is always so cheerful,so happy-go-lucky girl..
maybe 'cause of environment,maybe 'cause of the people i met,i become a changed person in a way or other...i feel so lost,i duno how long can i hold on...i have no idea when i'll go bersek..i just couldnt find the answers to all the questions in my mind...what's wrong with me...??i duno,dont ask whats wrong wif me,cause i duno even know the answers myself...

[人生短短幾�年，
��給自己留下了什麼�憾，
想笑就笑，
想哭就哭，
該愛的時候就去愛，
無謂壓抑自己]

[愛 情 開 � 起 玩 笑 ， 因 為 騙 � 了 自 己 ，
別 等 到 錯 � 後 � 去 後 悔 ，
別 等 到 失 去 後 � 想 挽 回 ...
幸 � � 是 � 別 人 給 的 ，
而 是 � � 真 抓 � ， 用 心 � 擇 ...]

11:54 PM

after reading some of ure's blog,i began to worry for some of u...

girl ah,please go and see a doctor,can...lose of appetite,sleepin late and waking up abnormaly early,sudden change in lifestyle is few of the symptoms of Depression... and that makes me feel worried after reading ur blog...
although i dont really know what's the real reason behind it,but i hope you can get back to the old you,the more happier you...
i hope my guessing about Depression is wrong...

i do agree that one have to practical in thinking,especially in this society..
how come guys never fail to disappoint girls,again and again...
what did girls really do in our last lifetime to deserve all disappointment,insult and pain from guys..
why make empty promises when you know you cant fulfil the wish...
how come guys will never cherish the girl infront of them...
why must guys have to wait till she's gone and feel remorseful of not cherishing her earlier...
i thought god created girls is for guys to be dote on,but i doubt it...

i really hope my frens won't be like me,cause my hatred in me have replaced all the emotions in my heart....
i can no longer feel the pain towards LOVE,i no longer have feeling towards LOVE..
my heart no longer dont bleed for anyone anymore...my heart no longer crying for anyone anymore.
pleae stay away from my heart, for i duno when i'm goin bersek....



[曾經的曾經
我是這麼的相信��
而� �讓我傷心

曾經的曾經
我們就差那麼一點就能永� 在一起.....
但....
在這時� �毫�猶豫的將我宣判出局....
瞬間我的心被劃� �....
鮮血....�斷�出�痛......
� 為比�上已碎裂的心...... ]


[愛情能將一�陌生人變�情侶
也能將一�情侶變�陌生人的�戲]


[有些人，很傻，總是以為有一天愛會回� ­
有些人，很傻，總是以為愛真的�以��回� �
有些人，很傻，總是以為大方的說�見，就�以忘記
有些人，很傻，總是以為��連繫，就真得��的了一切]

anyway,to those who are attached,happy valentine day... hope my posts didnt affect you...
�幸�,快樂....
*smile*

6:55 PM

Had so much fun last night at both places,KTV and Balcony( allocated at hereens)...
but still so sad,after all,its our big sis's 21st bday,and some of them never give face,never even turn out for gathering,some even fly aeroplane..nevertheless,we enjoyed ourselves last nite..

Went Balcony after KTV and my goodness,i love the place,so relaxing,good for small gathering and chill out...







stay happy girls,anyway,happy valentines to everyone....





2:25 PM

hahaha....please dont find me or my blog nusiance...found this RAIN blogskin quite nice,so decide to change skin again...haha...aiyo,ah xin ah..why ur sis so cute de,only look at his butt..haha...but frankly speaking,i agree wif ur sis la,quite feng man somemore he got 6paxs also...haha...added song hui qiao's icon to accompany rain but still figuring how to make it side by side...
and anyody know how to insert a MV using media player in blog ah..cos wanna show u guys RAIN latest single - sad tango MV...the dance steps was nice sia...

think there's either something wrong wif my computer if not something wrong wif my IE.couldnt type chinese wording anymore too...my computer is going different way from me recently,haix,think i really need to save up to get a new one..

nice gathering wif j-gangs on mon nite although some couldn't make it for the dinner...thanks eve's mum for treating us during the dinner...updated each other wif the latest news among ourselves...

haix,although i'm not sure of what really happen to some of you,but i just hope you'll be fine,girl...
i only have a simple wish for my frens,i just want my frens to be happy,i mean real happy that come from within the heart.
sometimes when we have learn how to let go,we tend to find happines back.
i'm not good in my wording so went online to find some quotes for some of you..

and for some jerks(sorry),you must let them go and let them taste their retribution..those guys are just been childish..20+ already,still duno how to act as a adult,shameless on them..eve,just ignore those guys la,not worth your angryness or sadness at all de..sorry if i sound harsh,but i hate those guys,not willing to admit defeat and put all blames at girls...

till this day,my hatred towards guys haven been decreasing yet,unless i meet a nice and kind man by nature,but i dun think i can ever meet good guys in my life,so i'm not gonna waste my time in relationships...

on the happier side,lixin 21st birthday is coming which is tomorrow,and she found herself a good/nice boyfren(thats for u to see,for us to judge).and oh ya,xin,ur boyfren not celebrating ur bday wif u ah or is he joining us...??

another happy ocassion is on 18th of feb,jolle's baby 1st month anniversary...everybody is looking for this new-born baby sia..our 1st baby among j-gang...so happy...looking forward next week for our cute baby...

[Never frown, even when you are sad,
because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. ]

[總是等到哭紅雙眼 才會明白愛情有保存期限
總是沒有盡心盡力去疼惜 當初握在手中的]

[我沒有騙自己 我不愛你
可是在你面前 我從來不會表現出 我愛你
或許就是這樣吧 裝模作樣的不在乎讓緣份變淺了]

[因為愛你.所以放手還你自由
因為愛你.所以不再讓你困擾
因為愛你.所以寧願自己難過
因為愛你.所以我逼自己離開]

7:59 PM

anybody want to watch Disney on Ice..??just saw the map for the Disney on Ice,haix...kinda ex wor,$80 for the best seats..never watched before,hopefully somebody can sponsor mi go..haha...

well,think alot of things happen to some of u during this period of time,be it good or bad...
i strongly think that time will fade everything away.

無論我們經歷�什麼，其實都�需�刻�去忘記，
那些�在回憶裡的�色腳�都�是一個�程，
因為它們，我們�能更�惜今日的甜美。
�在，就讓我們牽著手��走，
在通往幸�的路上，一步一步的�下永�的證據。

hopefully u guys can read the above chinese words,if not,u have to go change the encoding yourselves...haha....

10:13 PM